Side Note: This post was inspired by the lovely Sophie from ‘Life of Little Things’, you can read her letter ‘to 13 year old me’ here, it was such a beautiful read and I highly recommend you go over and check out her blog.
Dear 14 year old me,
You have just turned 14 and you have no idea what is about to happen to you. Brace yourself… you are about to get your first bf, AND your first kiss (omg i know, what a shock xD). You will date a boy named Jacob, the one you currently sit next to in science and tbh it wont last very long and you will decide you hate him afterwards, but congratulations. It’s the age where you start becoming more confident, but also boy crazy, which isn’t the best because you also meet another boy who treats you like shit and threatens to stab your best friend, which is an interesting experience to say the least. But you have great friends around you who you can laugh about it with, especially Paul and Oscar, they will be your friends for life and you will never lose them.
Age 15 is the age where everything changes, its a year of stress and emotions , you lose your mamma, and you won’t have felt pain quite like it before. But make the most of every moment you get with her, never forget to tell her you love her because it will all happen so suddenly. During this horrible time you turn to dance and every time the emotions take over, you dance. This is the start of a new journey, no matter how many times you drift away from it, you will always go back. You will spend everyday in the studio and your dance teacher will help you out so much. Not only do you have dance in your life but you also have amazing friends around you, especially Connie – the girl you hated last year – she’s now your best friend. You will also have Jacob, (yes you date him again, and then fall out again) but whilst you will always have a love hate relationship, he will always have your back for as long as you know him, regardless of how many times you fall out or hate him.
Age 16 is kind of a blur, you will celebrate your birthday with a huge party and have so much fun. You will finally get contact lenses – let me tell you, they change your life, they will give you so much confidence and boys will start to pay you more attention, which you will love! You also finally get to date the boy you’ve wanted to date since age 13, but in the end it doesn’t work, but you stay friends and in fact he becomes your best friend, he will help you through a lot of hard times. You will drift apart over the years but he will always be one of those people you could have a chat with whenever needed. This age is also the time where you lose some of your best friends, for such stupid reasons, but you also gain friends in the boys and meet two of the lads you will be friends with for years – Darren and Daniel. You will also leave school and you will cry your eyes out, despite the fact you are staying for Sixthform. Prom is such a fun experience and you will spend the night after on skype with the boys till 3am, this is a memory you will cherish forever.
Age 17, well unfortunately Dion, this is the year everything gets worse. You will start your A Levels in Maths, English Lit, Dance and R.E and Sixthform is hell, (well so you think) however, it will bring you some of the best memories and the strongest friendships. Your friendship group changes and you find yourself hanging out with a new group of people, you love it and you feel happy, and Caoimhe will introduce you to a mutual friend who will become your first proper bf. It will start of good and he will respect you so much and honestly you believe you are super in love and you are, but it will all go sour. He will break your heart, and you will go back to him over and over again. You will feel like you aren’t good enough and you will question and blame yourself. But It wasn’t your fault and in time you will heal. You will spend a lot of time crying to your best friends, especially Vina, but she will listen and advice and in fact she will help you for years and be one of your most loyal friends. You will also meet Becky, Becky will make you laugh until you cry and always build you up. You can always rely on these two girls.
Not only will you face the pain of a break up but you will become ill, and develop anxiety, you will collapse, and be taken to hospital over and over again for abdominal pains and you will start to worry and panic about the smallest things. These illness will probably be with you for life, but i promise over time it gets a little easier, so whenever you feel like giving up, just keep pushing forward, you can do it and you do, do it. You pass all your A Levels and you will get into uni to study dance. All the pain will be worth it.
Your 18th birthday will be the best night of your life, you will dance with all your friends and get drunk as hell, surrounded by the best people. You will continue to party with Pablo, Darren and Daniel, something you have been doing since age 17 and they will become some of your closest friends. You will go on your first girls holiday with Connie and have the most amazing time, drinking cocktails, dancing on the beach and doing the splits on a bar. You will also meet a new boy, you will fall for him even more deeply then the last and you will have hour long phone calls whilst you spill out all your secrets. You will feel worth it again and the pain of the last relationship gently goes away.
During this year you will leave Sixth form, and you will cry your eyes out but you will leave with some amazing memories and friendships. Prom will be amazing, you will all go to Rock City and you will dance the night away. That summer will consist of nights out, amazing memories and working, you will then move to university.
Your first year at uni will be really hard, you will end up quitting in feb. During your short time there, you will live in a horrible flat, you will be ill and you will hate your course, but this boy will stick by you as much as possible. During your first year at uni you will meet amazing people, Amy, Anjaly, Chloe, Nas, Lewis, Kyle, and many more. You will have a great but shit time.
You will also go through another break up and it will really hurt, it comes at a horrible time where you are super ill and deciding whether to quit uni. During this time you slip into a downward spiral, but one boy in particular will build you up, he will stay with you whilst you cry and remind you that everything will be okay. He will make you laugh and make you feel like yourself again. But silly you will get too involved and fall for him and it will all end horribly. But don’t worry, your uni experience doesn’t end there, you will still have some amazing nights out before you leave and you will also meet Kyle (19 year old you’s current bf), who will remain in your life, who always builds you up and treats you how you deserve, you will start to feel happy for the first time in a long time.
19 year old you will party loads, (word of advice, tequila is never a good idea, you will dance on a table, you will fall off and you will throw up), you will go to Zante and have the most amazing time and you will return to uni. This decision isn’t easy and again you encounter people who knock you down, but you will also meet some amazing people who inspire you and build you back up. You will meet such beautiful people such as Nicole, Hannah, and the dance girls and you will still have Kyle. You will join the dance team, become more confident and start a blog. Your life still isn’t easier, it hasn’t been and may never be, but its full of such amazing things and amazing people. All the things you go through will build you up into a strong person. Right now, I am struggling but I am also so much stronger, confident and happy then I used to be. Aged 13 I honestly never saw myself having a blog, a boyfriend or studying Criminology.
So 14 year old self, although things may seem tough, they aren’t the end of the world, you will go through so much, but always come out stronger. I believe in you.
With Love, soon to be 20 year old Dion x